So here we go again on our own….

You know the rest, “going down the only road I’ve ever known, like a gambler I was born to bet alone!!!” Always reminds me of the scene in Old School where he’s fucked at the wedding, we’ve all been there. Anyway I digress, let’s talk about sports. It seems fitting as we kick things off that I found myself only this week at my 5yr old son’s football training session cheering on the side lines not to anything he’d done in training but to Real Madrid Women taking the lead against FC Twente Women to the tune of a £98 win, not life changing but you take the wins where you can get them. Little did anyone know that’s why I was cheering, but it’s nice now to have this safe space to let it all out.

I’m happy to report we won’t be writing a full deluge into that game, time to talk about the real stuff and the return of the big boys, not just the Prem after the international break, but the big dogs, a new dawn, the young pretender in charge ready to turn himself from migrant looking to messiah. Ipswich vs Man Utd – The Tractor boys fresh from protesting who in the early 90s before Andy Cole got his hands on them in a 9-0 drubbing were a bit of a bogey team as I recall, but feeling sick about their land I’m not having any of that this time, the current crop of players at Utd love a new manager bounce, just ask Ruud, they’ll be running round like a love child of Usain Bolt and Mo Farah, swarming all over the pitch, Luke Shaw will probably be fit , and they’ll end up scoring at least 3 goals. Off the bat Amorim to kick things off with a win. – United Win

Leicester Vs Chelsea – Maresca back to Leicester, what an upgrade for him to move out of that shithole to Chelsea and be managing players like Palmer. Liking the look of them this season, they’ll go there and do a job on Leicester, who for my money look good to go straight back down. – Chelsea Win

Everton vs Brentford – What a bastard game to call this one is, and you just know since I’ve taken Flekken out of my team that Brentford will keep there first clean sheet. Whether that actually plays out or not I can see a draw being the most likely result here. Draw

Fulham vs Wolves – If you’re Gary O’Neil your thinking everyone at the Prem has it in for you, even the schedule makers with that awful run of games to start the season. Now though is there chance to put some points on the board, though Fulham not the easiest place to go. You’ve got the best Emile (and possibly the only one) to be playing since Heskey at the chicken cottage (aint no dixy’s iykyk) and Raul probably looking to do a number on his former team, fancy Fulham to add to O’Neil’s woes here. Fulham Win

Arsenal vs Nottm Forest – You’ve got to think Arsenal get their season back on track here, Forest are deffo punching this season, and not like Mike Tyson last weekend. The loss to Newcastle seems more like them though, Arsenal to get the win here especially with players coming back from injury, can see Arsenal going on a bit of a run now to start closing that gap to Liverpool. Arsenal Win

Aston Villa vs Crystal Palace – The International break came at the right time for Villa who had lost the last 4 on the bounce and were without a win in 5. ” games a week seemed to be catching up to them already, but a game at home to Palace who have been a shadow of themselves this term is the tonic they need to get back on track. Eze out for Palace, a possible change of formation with Glasner looking to copy Amorim already with a 3-5-2, not even played a game yet and managers are imitating him, Utd are so back. Anyway this is Villa Palace. – Villa Win

Bournemouth vs Brighton – A game of 2 nice fancy teams playing fancy football trying to to claim the south coast bragging rights. Joao Pedro returns for Brighton who look to continue their impressive start, but Bournemouth are good at home having beaten both City and Arsenal this season. Actually like both teams to score in this one but in keeping with the picks we’ll take the draw. Draw

Man City vs Tottenham – Surely City can’t go another game without a win, surely, surely, surely?? No, no way do they not win this, they could be playing prime 70s Brazil and I’d still back them to win just from the fact they don’t keep losing games on the trot. Love big Ange, but that Ipswich result was sick, really sick, and for that though they have a nice record against City I can’t back them here. #Pepback as well with his contract news, players will be shitting it again, they’ll be rampant here. City Win

Southampton vs Liverpool – Arne Slut the new shiny toy in Liverpool will keep marching on the Saints this weekend, it’s a horrible match up for Southampton, the games got the marks of a 3 or 4-0 pumping, still stranger things have happened and when it’s in an acca even stranger things happen just to piss you off, but I’ll be sticking it in like I would after meeting a girl and going back to her place. Liverpool Win

Newcastle vs West Ham – We finish in geordie land on MNF, like the good old days of the 90s. The break came at the wrong time for Newcastle as they had just started to hit their stride, but West Ham are all kinds of crap, Lopetegui next manager out the door for my money and after a long journey home on a Monday that will be one step closer, with Isak doing the business. Newcastle Win.

That concludes our first prem call, 10 out of 10 start no doubt about it. See you on the other side brothers.